5 Years Later
It’s been five years since I underwent a preventative double mastectomy along with DIEP flap reconstructive surgery. I haven’t written a long form post about anything surgery or BRCA related in over three years, so it felt like it was time. I want to share some thoughts and logistical updates 5 years post surgery for those who are facing similar circumstances.
You can read all my posts related to my surgeries and BRCA here:
After my initial surgery in July of 2018, I had a reconstructive revision surgery in November of 2018. I then had my fallopian tubes removed (a salpingectomy) in July 2021.
The revision surgery involved smoothing out and lowering my abdominal scar and also doing fat grafting. The smoothing out made a huge difference! And as far as lowering it, I am glad my scar doesn’t appear so high now, but it basically involves pulling the part below the scar up higher. The downside to this is that your … pubic area … is pulled up a little higher. Suffice to say, high waisted swimsuits are a necessity unless you’ve done some laser hair removal. Possibly TMI, but it’s something I wish I had known beforehand, so you’re welcome haha. Below is my incision before the revision. You can also see a few pictures of the incision post-surgery and then a year later in this post.
Fat grafting involves having liposuction done on one part of your body and using that fat to fill in areas that need it. My doctor took fat from my thighs and love-handle area and filled in areas around my boobs that needed to be evened out. Some of that fat was re-absorbed, but it definitely helped the shape of things! Liposuction recovery is super painful, FYI. It blows my mind that people electively do that! No shame, I just wouldn’t sign up to experience it again!
So five years after those two surgeries…my scars are still visible, but faded. My boobs pretty much look like normal boobs. That part is pretty impressive, and I am thankful! I have some feeling in my chest, but not much. I have a few places where you can feel scar tissue or where the fat turned hard, but that has gotten better with time. The spot in the middle of my chest is still tender and occasionally feels tight. If I wear a crossbody bag or backpack for too long it feels sore, and sometimes I feel a mild sharp pain when I sneeze or cough. The area where my abdominal incision is doesn’t have feeling either. It’s almost complete numb in the middle of my stomach from my belly button to the scar. I’m mostly used to it after all this time, but it’s weird. If I happen to run into something right where the incision is across my hips, it hurts. It’s slowly gotten better though. Overall, things are good and I have zero regrets. I just want to share my experience because I think it’s helpful to know!
As I mentioned above, I had my fallopian tubes removed in July 2021. Research has shown that most ovarian cancers begin in your tubes, so this surgery was for preventive purposes (BRCA mutation also gives you a high risk of ovarian cancer). I’m 35, so I do not want to have my ovaries taken out and put my body into early menopause. The health repercussions of that at this point are too high. So this is kind of a stop-gap until I get old enough to consider that step.
I wish I had know that this was a recommendation when I had my initial surgeries in 2018, because I could have had it done then. It took me a long time to be ready to do this surgery when my doctor first recommended it. Emotionally, I did not want to undergo surgery again. And I also didn’t want to pay for surgery again, ha. But because of some other hormonal issues I was having, I also needed to have a D & C done, so we decided to do that and the tube removal at one time.
The surgery was laparoscopic and didn’t take very long. It was outpatient, and the recovery went smoothly. The worst part was the pain from the gas they fill your abdomen with! It hurts all the way up to the top of your chest. I was able to be fine with just taking some CBD capsules and a natural pain tincture and not take any prescriptions or even Tylenol/ibuprofen once I was home.
I currently see my breast specialist (oncologist) once a year, and probably always will. I see my OBGYN roughly every six months. We rotate between ultrasounds of my ovaries and a CA-125 blood test that measures a certain cancer antigen level. I also need to do yearly skin checks because BRCA mutations also increase your risk for melanoma. There’s also an increased risk of pancreatic cancer, but there are currently no recommended screenings for that.
All of these appointments mean I often find myself sitting in the waiting room wondering if that will be the day I hear news I dread. My cancer risk is lower, but it’s still there. The waiting gives me a lot of time to think (sometimes too much time) and pray. After five years, I find myself less anxious than I used to be, but it’s still a struggle each time. In my weakness, I remind myself that no matter what the outcome of each appointment may be, God is still good.
You may be reading this because you’ve experienced the same circumstances as me. Or maybe your circumstances are different, but you can relate to the feeling of worry or fear. The truth is that there’s always going to be something in our lives, whether it’s a genetic mutation like BRCA, surgeries, a falling out with a friend, a tense time in marriage, a job transition, or a difficult season in parenting. There’s always going to be something that threatens to shake our peace and leave us questioning, doubting, and holding onto our worry and fear as though they will somehow change our circumstances.
We aren’t meant to live like that. Worry and fear aren’t supposed to be what we cling to in times of trials. Because worry and fear can’t do a single thing for us other than make us miserable by causing us to lose sight of the One who is able to do all things. It’s easy to get caught up in our fears and forget we have access to Peace Himself - Jesus. He has given us both His Word (the Bible) and the Holy Spirit as a helper and reminder every single day. He lives inside of us as our strength and source of all things. These are invaluable resources at our disposal if we choose to remember we have them.
Instead of clinging to our circumstances like a badge of honor, we can trust the One who wants to carry our burdens, the One who can give us rest no matter what we are experiencing in this moment (Matthew 11:28-30). We can keep our minds on Him and take every doubting or fearful thought captive (2 Corinthians 2:5) and replace it with the Truth of what He says.
Trust in the One who is trustworthy. God is faithful to meet your needs. He is present in the middle of the glorious, the mundane, and the downright messy or scary. He is with you in your worries and your praises. You are never walking through any part of your life on your own, and nothing comes your way that hasn’t first gone through the Father’s hands. Your feelings and fears will change like the wind, but God never will.
